Things they should have told you about graduation!

Yes, you will feel like a regal Hogwarts Student at first, but the novelty wears off as the sweat starts to drip. It is also incredibly difficult to use the toilet when wearing them and you will have to get a friend to help you hold it all up whilst you take a nervous wee moments before the ceremony…

1. Each ceremony will be vastly different. Business students will be swift and efficient in their accepting of the obligatory handshakes. Performing arts students however will milk their 15 seconds of fame; selfies with the Chancellor, over dramatic reactions and playing up to the crowd…


2. Seeing your tutors in the robes of their university is a big highlight, especially when the hood is covered in pink fur – seriously, what university even is that?!

3. You will have to choose between wearing a “Large” cap that doesn’t quite fit, or admitting your head is “Extra Large” – the shame!


4. You may think that the jokes are fresh and off the cuff, spoiler alert, they have been the same for the past 5 years, and they don’t look to be changing anytime soon.

5. There will be people graduating from your course that you haven’t seen since Freshers week, we have no idea how these people graduate, it’s one of the great mysteries of the world.


6. Do not get drunk the night before, trying not to vomit in addition to not tripping up is too much for a hungover graduand to deal with!

7. The ceremonies are long! Bum-numbingly long. And everyone is looking at you, so you can’t even Tweet the time away.


8. Expect a lot of nodding and bowing of caps. There is likely also to be over dramatic trumpets and a large phallic-shaped object that is placed on a table but never once referenced.

9. The obligatory throwing of the caps photograph is a thousand times harder than the pictures make out! Getting them all up at the same time but still in the shot, well, it’s likely to be the hardest thing you’ll have encountered at university.



Originally posted on August 2014

Header Image Source: bensonk42, Flickr



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