My 2020 word of the year: Self

It’s 2020 – can you even believe it?! I am a very introspective person at the best of times (is that maybe a Sagittarius thing?) but when it comes to a new year, I get deep AF. I know that I could change my life at any time of the year, but there is something so lovely about a new year, and closing the book on the last chapter or whatever. 

Anyway, I feel like 2019 was all about baby Roo (as it should be!) and before the year started I just aimed to soak up as much of him as possible. I wanted to make memories as a family, be the best mum I could be and work out what this parenting thing is all about. I think I did a pretty great job – there were certainly days when it seemed almost impossible and I ended up crying on Insta stories about it, but overall, I’d say we made it through, joined lots of groups, played and laughed and snuggled and it was a lot of fun. 

This year, I’ve decided to follow the advice of my lovely friend Sarah and think of a specific word to sum up my aspirations for the year, rather than a lots of resolutions or goals (because I never know where to stop!). This year, my word is self, and part of me feels a bit awkward revealing that, but also, I want to be more unapologetic this year, so I’m sticking by it. 

In 2020, I want to find out who I am as a mother and as myself. I want to practise more self-care (starting with booking onto yoga) and general work on my self (so I’m finally going back to therapy). I want to do more things myself and believe in myself a little more. I want to feel my whole self this year. 

I think it’s such a great word because it can cover so many basis, and in itself It is the first act of ‘self’ as I am pledging to put myself out there, put myself – well, maybe not first, because I’m a mama, but at least put myself on the list somewhere for a change. I want to enjoy things without guilt, be more present and learn to love myself. 

I put my career on hold a little to have Roo and I don’t regret it for a second, but now I know I am ready to juggle things a little more, so I’m coming at it full force. I’m launching a course (watch this space), expanding my freelance writing business and giving my poor little blog the love and attention it deserves. There’s also some other things I’d love to do – I still dream of being on the radio, or doing some voiceover work. Perhaps being in a play or doing something else that flexes my artsy muscles. I want to buy a house. I want to travel. I want to break my habit of being messy. I want to start a dance class. I want to learn the art of manifestation and be more in touch with my ‘woo’ side. I want to go to gigs and have fun again! 

In the bastardised words of my beloved Frank Turner, “I’m going to grab life by the throat and live it to pieces”. Come at me 2020 – I’m ready for you.