My current working space is either on the sofa, or in bed, working (physically) around my children. Occasionally, if I’m really lucky, I’ll find myself working at a table at a soft play centre with a luke-warm coffee.
I’ve not worked in a proper office for such a long time, but I’ve recently had a cheeky promotion in my “real” job and one day a week I’ll be required to head into Liverpool to sit in an actual office. It led me to thinking about those really fun workplaces you see online, that are usually hiding some terrible work-life balance practises behind dress-down Fridays and air hockey tables, but I though it would be fun to imagine what my dream office would be like.
Obviously, the most important factor would be snacks – lots of delicious vegan snacks. I love to pick while I’m working, and a section of chopped fruit, hummus and sweet treats would really… motivate me! I know some places that use hard-sell tactics and targets, like to have mini-fridges of beer, but seeing as I drive to work, I think just fresh OJ, cans of Coke and some non-alcoholic Prosecco would be a good shout. Ooh! A Slush Puppy machine would be the dream!
I love the idea of a Corporate Phone Booth to shut myself in when I have to make phone calls. I’m not a fan of speaking on the phone and I feel like everyone is listening to me talking my special brand of nonsense, so something like this that I could close the door and pretend no one could see or hear me would be great. I mean, in a dream job I wouldn’t ever have to even make phone calls, but if I do, I need to be locked in a little booth, unable to be distracted.
I like to be comfy while I work, so I’m thinking a variety of different seating options – bean bags, yoga balls, just a whole load of massive cushions. Heated blankets in the winter too. In an ideal world, there would be no dress code for work and I certainly wouldn’t have to wear shoes in the office – nothing stifles my creativity quite like foot prisons! So just some comfy loungewear, or even PJS and fluffy socks. Not my slobbing around PJs, obviously, some really cute matching ones in a brushed cotton.
To blow off some steam, perhaps some retro Snes Games. I think ping pong would just stress me out – I don’t like games that I can’t win, but some old school Mario Kart sounds like just the ticket. Maybe a little disco area (think Cafe Disco at Dunder Mifflin!) to dance out the stress and get a 3pm slum boost of energy.
I think just having some cats around to stroke would be cool too. Maybe some bunnies. Tiny little teacup piglets. I’m just all up for animals in the office to be honest.
Of course, in a dream world, I wouldn’t have to work at all. I could just be a lady of leisure, spending my days doing yoga, going out for brunch and taking naps. But until that happens, I’ll be dreaming of my dream office.