#BEDN: #ConsentIs…

Trigger warning, sexual assault
Consent is something that is very important to me, having launched the ‘EHSU <3 Consent’ campaign at my Union when I was Vice President, and so when I heard of the #ConsentIs campaign, I knew I wanted to be involved – the fact that the lady I spoke to was a volunteer at the Peterborough centre (my home town!) felt like fate.

Those of you who went to Uni with me are probably bored of hearing me talking about consent, but I do think it needs talking about, so I’m not sorry. In my first year of university I was sexually assaulted in my halls. I was so shocked and upset, I felt that it must have been my ‘fault’ and so I tried to ignore it and didn’t acknowledge that it 100% was not okay, until a few years later. If I had been properly educated on consent, I would have known that and perhaps would have felt justified to go to the police when it happened. This spurred my passion for the Consent Campaign, as I didn’t want any students to go through the same thing.

For me, it’s not about blaming or shaming, it’s about education and empowerment (that’s quite catchy isn’t it?!). It’s about teaching everyone about what constitutes consent and making them feel confident to not give, or withdraw consent at any time. It also helps to educate individuals who may not even realise what they’re doing would be seen as illegal in a court of law.

#ConsentIs needed every time, by every person involved, regardless of gender

#ConsentIs not valid if a partner is drunk, unconscious or coerced into it

#ConsentIs never assumed. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married 20 years or they wanted to do it earlier in the day, it doesn’t matter.

#ConsentIs the only way.

This is a video made by the Crown Prosecution Service, what do you think?

This post was written in support of Peterborough Rape Crisis Care Group  (www.peterboroughrapecrisis.co.uk) & Rape Crisis England & Wales (rapecrisis.org.uk). No compensation was received for this.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this post, please feel free to contact me confidentially through my Contact Form.

Comments

  1. I had a similar thing happen to me, not to the same extremes it was more inappropriate touching,gestures and threats.. at my place of work, however I did go to complain..
    ” He’s been here for years, he’s just a bit creepy” …”He’s not touched you inappropriately though, not really”..
    If he ever really does anything we’ll sort it they said…in the end I was being threatened of sexual assult every day and as a student I couldn’t afford to leave, I eventually ran out of the shop floor crying mid-shift after seeing my sister come in. I never went back and I don’t walk past the shop anymore.

    I spoke to managers and headoffice for months but they’d only arrange one on one meetings ‘out of office’ with men.I wasn’t allowed anyone with me, not even their own female staff to sit in! I refused and they dropped the case.

    It’s crap it still happens but people don’t know what consent it. BBCThree did a documentary with teens, their responses disgusted me “she wanted it” “she was drunk” “she could have tried harder to push him away”?! *Rant over* Great post. x
    All the best, Amy.

    1. It’s really awful to hear that and I’m really sorry that happened to you. It’s an awful experience and crappy to know that it is still happening. At least we can try to educate others and keep people we know safe.
      Thanks for commenting x

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