Today’s #BEDN prompt is ‘beauty’, and my first thought was to write something cheesy about how ‘beauty is only skin deep’ or something, but I haven’t had enough wine for that!
However, it did bring to mind the hoards of Zoella-esque Beauty Gurus, with their ‘on fleek’ eyebrows and ombre lips and smokey eyes, and yet as we have seen here, I haven’t got a bloody clue! Regular guest blogger Bethan is my own personal beauty guru and every time she answers my panicked texts (wtf is an eyelash primer?!) with cool calm confidence, I wonder where I was when everyone else was at ‘how to be a successful woman’ classes?!
I stand in Boots looking at rows and rows of foundations, wondering how I find the one that will make my face look good but I haven’t got a clue about whether I have warm or cool tones or whether I want matte, or breathable or 24 hour or what. It seems to me like a complex maths test that I was never taught the formula for. I pretty much play it safe with lipsticks and have several shades of red and I have “perfected” one eyeshadow look with the help of a step-by-step guide. I bought a set of make-up brushes but I have no idea why I would ever need 45 of them, and honestly, I’ve used a lot of them for arts and crafts…!
Don’t get me wrong, I do try, and in the mirror I look passable, but as soon as I am out into the harsh light of day, or the judging lens of my camera, the story is somewhat different. As a very short sighted individual, make-up is a struggle as it is. I have to stand nose to the glass of my mirror to have even a chance of seeing what I’m doing and even then I’m not convinced it’s working.
My hair has two modes: down, or on the top of my head in a messy top knot. This isn’t a fashion statement, I’m just hugely inept! I had no idea how to use a bun ring and genuinely had to have a tutorial by a friend! I enjoy cute floral tea dresses, but tend to pair them with bright orange high-top converse or an oversized hoody which apparently ruins the look somewhat…
That said, compared to twelve year old me, I really know what I’m doing… (I thought hair was supposed to be as flat on your hair as possible)
The best thing about being kinda rubbish at all this hair & beauty stuff? When you make an effort, and almost get it right, everyone acts like you’re Mia from The Princess Diaries after her crazy makeover. Boom.