Before I start, let me point out that this rant is not directed at people with children, regardless of whether these people be younger than me with 4 children, or my age with their first on the way. This rant is aimed solely at those people who constantly insinuate that I am doing something wrong in life by not yet having a baby. As if this is some sort of failing on my part, and not just a choice I have made with my partner. Don’t get me wrong, I am one broody bean. There are few things I love more than cuddling a snuggly baby, and I can’t walk past baby clothes without freaking out at how bloody tiny they are! But, for me, there’s just not been a good time for a baby yet. I’ve spent the past 3 years at university, making stupid (but hilarious) life decisions, and, for the time being, my boyfriend and I are living at his parents’ house whilst we save for a home of our own. I have a good job, but only for a year, and Steven has recently started his own company, which is set to do amazing things, but, as with all new businesses, it needs a lot of attention. At this current moment, we are not mature enough to look after a tiny human. Sure, if it came to it we wouldn’t be at all disappointed, and I have no doubt we would step up to the mark and actually be alright at this human raising business. That said, however, we really make the most of a child-free life. Some nights we snuggle in bed by 9pm, with a bottle of wine and Desperate Housewives, just because we can. Our money goes on silly gadgets, ebooks, yoga classes and Big Macs. We are also irresponsibly spontaneous. We often book trips just weeks before we are due to depart and deal with the details later. That’s another point, we want to travel the world. Of course, that isn’t to say you can’t travel with children, just that it is a lot harder and demands a whole lot more organisation that either one of us posses. So we plan (at the last minute of course) to travel to places as yet unseen until the day I pee on a stick and find a plus sign.I cannot stress enough that my problem isn’t with mothers. Young or old. Or babies. Everyone knows I LOVE babies. It’s just with the people who suggest that I am wasting my life without a child. I am constantly surrounded by beautiful babies that make me desperate for one of my own, just, not yet. A decision I’ve made, that seems, to some people, to be the wrong one.
*feminist rant time* No one seems to be suggesting to Steven that he is less of a man for not yet impregnating a woman and, rightly so, he is judged on his achievements and merit as a person. So why then, is it wrong for me to have chosen university over nappy changes and a “career” (though God only knows what it’s going to be doing!) over carseats? I am not yet 23, and yet it seems as though my biological clock is ticking only so that random people I meet can hear it.
Honestly, I love babies, and some days I am desperate for one of my own, but, in an uncharacteristic hail to traditionalism, I would actually quite like to be married before the fact. Not because it is ‘right’ or ‘proper’, but simply because. That is not to say my way is the ‘correct’ way, just that it is for me. Just as having babies before this age is right for other people. But the point of this isn’t to justify my reasons for not having had a baby yet, it is to ask why some people will judge me on my current lack of child, rather than my first class degree (and ability to lick my elbow?!) when we live in 2014.
Image Source: Andrew Mason, Flickr